Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Pooping to opera.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
