I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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