ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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