i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
