did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
