You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
