my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
