remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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