I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
