the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
