I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
