just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
