you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I think I won the penis lottery.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
