yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Randomize
