You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
