oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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