Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
