Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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