seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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