Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I love you.
Bad choice
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
