I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
