I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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