Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
