I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
pop tarts are not kleenex
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
