It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Text me some of your sweat
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