totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
