Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize