Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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