I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
