Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize