And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
