all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
