Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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