Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
