two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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