Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
there was a trapeze. enough said
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
