you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
