this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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