the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
organizing the empties. That sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
They took my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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