i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
