My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
