I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
