wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
