Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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