Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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