this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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