We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
