This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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