maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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