is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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