I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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