Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
