I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
