she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
