just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
