The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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