just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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