I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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